By your flagrant disregard for the iambic pentameter I take it you're not an English teacher then? The relaxed approach to scansion, elision of your dactyls into your spondees, abrupt verse divisions and yet curiously weak caesurae, and free use of catalectic lines suggests something more in the practical arts...woodwork, mayhap? Interesting afflatus though.
-------------------- What doesn't kill us makes us stronger - Friedrich Nietzsche (German Hill Climb Champion and sub-19 man)
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